Varalakshmi came home this morning as she does every year. My amma was missed this year also as usual. With another friend also complaining about her loss last year, it was difficult. My mother used to come the previous day with fruits and flowers for the pooja from Koyambedu. She would discuss Thazhampoo cost, lotus flower inflation, the price of malli last year. She would do this every year with Vatsan but still get them for my pooja. I would be in the kitchen making vada payasam, meanwhile, she would decorate and keep things ready for the pooja. Last few years vadhiyaar came home to do the pooja and I would have tears dripping while he tied the thread in my right hand. He might have thought I was missing Vatsan who was away. But I was missing her. This year was very simple, I did a short pooja, tied the thread myself and chanted Devi mahatmiyam for 2 + hours. I was going through an emotional process. From 1989 ever since I started...